Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
