i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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