I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
