In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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