It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I did not marry a roomba.
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