so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
