pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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