Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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