everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
