I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Your cock deserves a montage
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
