I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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