I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize