I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
