I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
