We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
