You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
