Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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