I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
