If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Your cock deserves a montage
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
