So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
