The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize