Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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