If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
