Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
