yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
