so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
