We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I puked a lego.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
