i can't believe i had my finger in that
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
