why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
