To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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