how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
