What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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