I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Even my vagina gasped.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize