see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Why are your pants in the freezer?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
