she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
She's the barista slut.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
