Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Randomize
