So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
