belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
