Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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