giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
