I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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