I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize