Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
