That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
