Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
