I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
