I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
