thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
