Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
There was a lot of him and a little penis
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
