if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
