u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
