this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
