one word: firstdatebathroomanal
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
