The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
my poor anus
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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