dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize