I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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