yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
