Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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