farters have to be the big spoon...
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
