I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
